Anchorwoman Masturbates With Vibrator
The captive man spoke in Aramaic through swollen lips, “She’s my wife and my favor-”Yoel stamped his foot and shrieked at the top of his voice to drown out the captive, “NOT ACCORDING TO THE TEMPLE! SHE’S NO HONEST WOMAN AND YOU ARE NO RABBI! YOU ARE A HERETIC, AND AN ADULTERER, AND A HOMOSEXUAL -”“ENOUGH!” roared Gestas, “Give us the girl and we’ll do the deed.”Yoel nodded his ascent, “Fine. We don’t care about the girl, anyways. I wash my hands of this whole affair.”“Not so fast,” Gestas grinned, “How many times do you want him scourged? Five, ten?”Yoel’s eyes narrowed, “Forty.”“What?!,” exclaimed Dismas, “Forty’s a death sentence by Roman law! He’ll be dead long before he hangs from the cross.”“Thirty-nine, then!” Yoel shouted as he stormed out of the cavern.*****The fiery spirit burned as Dismas poured it down. From out of nowhere a deeply tanned man said, “Ah ... good. We can begin.”Not that I recognized the language ... it was guttural and coarse.He grabbed the lodgepole pine splinter sticking up and twisted.“OW fucking OW!”“Hold him,” he said to the unknown hand.Darkness.The splinter wasn’t a splinter ... it was the three foot end of one of my tipi poles ... and it had transfixed my leg. I am supposing he pushed it through ... supposing ... because it was no longer sticking out of my thigh. The darkness lifted ... I could see again.“Why didn’t he pull the branch out while I was out?”The voice attached to the gentle hand said, “I don’t know. Ask him.”“Yes, ask me,” the tanned man said.“Why did you let me wake up before you subjected me to such pain?”“If you were dead, I wasn’t going to bother,” he said.“Makes sense,” I said. “But if I was dead you’d have to take it out before you buried me.”“Buried?” he asked. “What is that?”So ... I explained.“A hole in the ground? and waste all the.
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